


only fools

by lyncthewicked



Series: Only Fools [1]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Aftermath of Torture, Blood and Gore, F/M, Horror, M/M, Past Abuse, Psychological Torture, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Unhealthy Relationships, nobody's happy here lmao, pls be safe guys this is a vvv dark book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 17:35:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30025383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyncthewicked/pseuds/lyncthewicked
Summary: ❝Some things just aren't meant to be found.❞Or in which Jerome Valeska hunts down one of Hugo Strange's experiments.
Relationships: Jerome Valeska/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Only Fools [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208747
Kudos: 2





	1. chapter one

The small, run-down apartment is decrepit and close to falling apart. The paint is peeling off the unpleasant off-white walls, revealing the rotting wood beneath it which is holding the room together (though he has his doubts about that). He's on the second floor of the apartment complex and the floor is so unsteady he's sure he'll fall through the floor if he presses too much weight on it.

He thinks the roof is going to cave in any day now.

**He doesn't think he cares anymore.**

It's not like he can get it fixed, anyways. The Doctor is still looking for him. Searching in every darkened corner of the city, every crevice and hole. He's going to close in soon, and he won't have anywhere to run. He can _feel_ it. The Doctor desperately wants his favourite toy back and he was willing to wait over a decade for it.

But he won't go back. Not now, not ever.

It's been ten years since Gabriel Zhao escaped from Indian Hill. The _lab_ he was born and raised in. It's a hellish memory that haunts his nightmares and conscious thoughts every waking day of his existence.

It _never_ goes away. The pain _never_ lessens. The memories _never_ fade.

**They will never leave him alone. Not unless he makes them.**

Though it's been ten years since he escaped Indian Hill, he still hasn't quite adjusted to normal life, as he hasn't exactly been able to place himself out in the open, what with the Doctor still looking for him.

In a strange way, he feels as though spending ten years locked inside of a dingy apartment in the Narrows is a trial for the normal civilian lifestyle. He's watched humans interact from his dirty windows, watched the way they bustle down the littered streets, heads kept down as to avoid making eye contact with other humans.

He's seen the darker side to it, too. People being dragged into dark alleys late in the night, blood-curdling screams following the disappearances. Young children being snatched from the footpath in broad daylight by strange men. Young women and men being assaulted by strangers with a dark, unquenchable thirst for pain and bloodshed.

The world is not so different from Indian Hill, in some ways. That darkness buried within the roots of the city ran deep through the blood and souls of its inhabitants, sinking its blackened claws into yet unbroken spirits.

Gabriel can't help but wonder how he would fare in the real world. It appears to be such a dark, dreary place. The only difference being the lack of blinding white lights and the smell of chemicals.

It took him a very, very long time to realize what they had done to his mind, that the disgusting, horrid thoughts that ran through his mind were not natural. But that darkness, that _evil_ , is still there, lurking in the back of his broken, tangled mess of a mind.

Though he's come to realize what they've done, being trapped, alone and left to the mercy of his own mind, without any guidance and differing opinions, he hasn't been allowed to heal and undo the mess. He doesn't even know where he would go to have himself fixed. Does the real world have anything that could help him? _Can_ he be fixed?

**He'll never be able to fully undo what they've done to him.**

His apartment is dimly lit and silent as he paces around the stained carpet floor, wringing his shaking, ice-cold hands.

He can't afford to have heating installed, so he had to train himself to withstand the unyielding cold early, and _fast_. Not that he minds too much, Indian Hill was never warm. He's only ever known cold, but not on this level.

Gabriel has moved all around the Narrows, never staying too long in the same place. He can't risk it. The Doctor is hot on his tail, breathing down his neck. Gabriel has to remain one step ahead of them. He knows he should leave Gotham altogether, but he can't afford to get anywhere outside the city. He technically can't afford his current hideout, having had to kill the previous owner of the apartment and continue paying their rent with the stash of money he found hidden under the mattress, along with the money he had saved up.

**Unless he put an end to it himself.**

He inhales deeply, running his hands down his face as he comes to a stop in the kitchen. Well, his apartment is technically just one big room, barring the bathroom, which was thankfully in a separate, closed-off room, a luxury he and the other subjects never got.

In an attempt to distract himself, he gently opens the fridge and scans the contents — or lack thereof. He grabs a red apple and steps away, letting the fridge slowly fall closed on its own as he walks towards the couch.

He turns the apple over in his hands, it almost feels warm against his chilly skin. Apples are about the only things he eats nowadays. He can't complain, however, they were fed cold, bland oatmeal in Indian Hill, sometimes lukewarm if they were well-behaved.

If they didn't behave, they were punished. Severely. Gabriel has to suppress a shiver as nausea rolls in his stomach at the mere thought of the punishments he endured. They were a thousand times worse than the punishments he bestows upon himself.

Guilt weighs heavy on his mind every single day and night knowing he never went back to help the other people — the other _things,_ trapped there. But he couldn't, he would have gotten caught and thrown back in with the rest of the freaks. Though try as he might tell himself he had no choice but to leave them behind, he'll never be able to shake that guilt and remorse plaguing his mind and soul.

They weren't human, really. Not by traditional standards, at least. Gabriel is one of the only subjects that could pass as human, as his mutation isn't visible until he intends to use it, which he avoids doing. Every time he dares to attempt to use the curse bestowed upon him, it reminds him of the place he was made. It's his tie to Indian Hill and the past.

**Even if they stop following him, they will never really leave him.**

He stares at the apple with a distant gaze, lost in thought. Soon, little flares of pain in his head and hands break him out of his downward spiral. He doesn't react to the pain, having grown accustomed to it many, many years ago. However, though it doesn't genuinely hurt him, it is irritating enough to catch his attention.

His fingertips are stained crimson. It looks as though the colour from the apple has seeped into his skin, slowly stretching up his fingers.

Gabriel winces and drops the apple, it lands on the carpet with a quiet _thud_. He watches with disgust as the red gradually sinks away, returning to his usually pale skin. That is the first time he's used his curse in over three years.

The pounding in his head grows worse as the pain in his hands dissipates. He sighs, slowly sitting down on the uncomfortable, ratty sofa, head falling back against the back of the sofa. He sits there in silence for several moments, waiting for the headache to die down.

Pain. Another reason he avoids using his mutation.

Once the pain subsides to a dull ache, he reopens his eyes and lazily drags his gaze down to his covered arms. He prefers to wear long-sleeved shirts, so as to hide what's hidden beneath.

Huffing, Gabriel yanks the sleeves up to his elbows, revealing the ugly, deep scars etched into his skin. Most were old but no less faded than the new ones. After Indian Hill, he'd punish himself for abandoning the subjects he left behind. The cuts never hurt enough to be a true punishment, so he'd go deeper, and deeper, and _deeper_. He deserves it. He deserves to be punished for the rest of his damned life for the things he's done, in Indian Hill and afterwards.

The deep, ugly scars litter his arms, disappearing under his shirt.

They are everywhere he can get to without harming himself too severely. He's destroyed his body, but he hasn't done enough to atone for his transgressions.

**He should go deeper. It's what he deserves.**

Gabriel's hands clench into fists, his nails dig into his palms, piercing his skin. Beads of red appear under his nails.

Though he isn't human, he still bleeds red. Deceptive, really.

Gabriel stands from the couch and makes his way over to the kitchen bench, snatching a small carving knife from the sink with a trembling but steady hand. He can't let his nerves get in the way of his punishment. Not doing it would be an insult to the lives he stole the moment he escaped.

He takes a deep, shaky breath, tightening his grip on the handle as he stares at the glistening blade. As he's about to lift his shirt, a noise behind him catches his attention.

Breathing and quiet footsteps.

Gabriel freezes, blood running cold as his knees grow weak. He slowly turns his head to stare at the wall separating him and whatever lurks behind it, his heartbeat quickening.

Someone is in his apartment.

**He should've killed himself sooner.**


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by the way, this book is set in the same universe as warped reality, just set in season 4, so it has older ambrose in it lmao

**The room falls into a tense silence as the ringing in Gabriel's head grows louder, screaming at him to move and do _something_.** But he's rooted to the ground and blood is rushing in his ears. He listens to the slow, raspy breathing; an unsettling sound he's never heard a human make. It sounds unnatural. It reminds him of when the Doctor used to order his staff to restrict the air in his cell, choking him, as a minor punishment for whenever he misbehaved. But this isn't the same; a different kind of ailment for something non-human.

Has the Doctor sent one of the other patients to come to find him? He can deal with that, he'll be able to take them out. He knows the patients, knows them better than he knows himself. He can get away from this.

But what if it's someone he can't get past? Someone who can overpower him? There are plenty of subjects with inhumane strength, the only advantage Gabriel has is his knowledge.

The realization makes ice settle in his veins.

He and whoever else is in the apartment remain silent, as though both are waiting for the other occupant to act first.

Like it's a game.

He's certain the other person knows he's here; Gabriel never heard them enter his apartment. Surely they've been here for a while. But he can't remember leaving his apartment today. The person must be incredibly skilled if they're able to sneak into his apartment without him noticing or even suspecting something is off. It _must_ be someone from Indian Hill, someone that knows him well enough to get past him and is skilled enough to do it.

"Ohh, _Gabie_..." A deep, raspy voice sings out to him and he almost drops the knife, eyes widening, the person knows his name. Not his given name, the one he'd chosen after he escaped. Gabriel swallows his fear and carefully places a hand on the bench, turning so he's facing the entrance of the kitchen.

Then he begins to shift.

It begins in his hand, the appendage quickly fading away until it's blended in with the environment. It travels up his arm, soon spreading to the rest of his body; but flares of pain swiftly follow the path, making him grit his teeth. Within seconds, Gabriel has disappeared and all that's left is the slightest shimmer where he stands. Only the ones who are aware of his mutation would be able to pick him out, and those who dare to peer closer at the strange shift in the air.

Gabriel isn't sure if the Doctor has finally caught up to him, what with the nature of the other residents of the apartment building, but he can't take his chances. He eyes the window behind the couch, pressing his lips into a thin line. He should be able to survive if he goes through it. However, the threat lingers, making him hesitate. Even as desperately as he wishes to die, he won't let Indian Hill take his body back. They've been known to reanimate the dead and he refuses to go through that again.

"Where are you, Gabie? I'm not gonna hurt ya." This is followed by a laugh that makes his skin crawl and he freezes, eyes darting over to the wall separating him from whoever is there.

Gabriel is then met with the unexpected sight of someone he has never seen before in his life. A tall man with ginger hair styled into a quiff. He is pale and has stormy blue-ish grey eyes from he can see from here. He's clad in a very stylish suit Gabriel would never think to wear. But what stands out the most about this peculiar stranger, what makes his eyes widen in genuine surprise, is the deep scarring on his face. It's all around the edge of his face, around his eyes, and stretched from the corners of his mouth, giving him a permanent, deeply unsettling smile. Like the Cheshire Cat. It looks as though someone removed his face and then carelessly stitched it back on.

He certainly looks like one of the Doctor's experiments, but that doesn't explain why he's never seen him before. Has the Doctor been making more monsters?

His eyes and wide grin scream of danger and malicious amusement as he rounds the corner, hunched over slightly, as though ready to pounce. But when he finds nothing, his smile fades slightly and his brows furrow as he straightens up, a look of confusion marring his childish excitement.

He spins in a circle, peering around the apartment in an almost comical fashion. He comes to a stop, facing away from Gabriel. He places his hands on his hips, huffing and tapping his foot impatiently.

But then he pauses as if coming to a sudden realization. A slow, deep laugh emits from him and it echoes slightly in the small room, making Gabriel tense as the threat of danger increases to a point that almost sends him into a full-blown panic, his fight or flight sense kicking in.

"Ooh, I get it, are we playing hide and seek, Gabe?"

Gabriel watches as he turns around in a circle again, but much slower, sharp eyes scanning every single little nook and cranny of his apartment. Then his gaze falls upon the kitchen, and he pauses once he reaches him, and his eyes narrow. Gabriel's heart is in his throat, beating so loudly he wonders how the man hasn't heard it.

Several unbearably tense seconds pass with the man just staring unblinkingly at him, and when Gabriel thinks he's finally been found, the man looks away, his grin widening. He slowly turns again to face the apartment, stepping back into the kitchen as he does. Gabriel forces himself to remain still even as the stranger gets closer, he tries to slow his breathing.

"Y'know, you were incredibly difficult to track down, but I read your file, and it helped a lot, I gotta say." Gabriel stops breathing as the man pauses a few feet from him, still with his back turned. If he gets a little bit closer, Gabriel will be able to take him out. "A complete accident, in all honesty. It was a long time ago, back when I was in Arkham for killing my dear mother.

'They're terrible at hiding at personal files, just saying. Anyways, I'm distracted. I was just looking for dirt on my fellow inmates for, y'know, blackmailing and all the jazz, but then I came across your file. Usually, I'd just skip right over someone else's, but you were too cute so I wanted to know more about you since I'd never seen you around ol' Arkham.

"And aren't we just so lucky I read yours? You can thank your dashing good looks for that, Gabe, otherwise, we wouldn't be here playing this fun game of hide and seek. You're lucky I've got a man in my life already, otherwise, I'd be going after you."

Gabriel's stomach twists as the man talks to him so conversationally; a sharp contrast from the malicious and unnerving giggles that randomly burst out of him in the middle of his sentences. His grip on the knife tightens as the man takes another step back, getting too close for comfort.

"Anyways, what I'm getting at is, I know what you can do."

Before Gabriel can even register the words, the man is spinning around, gloved hand shooting out like lightning to wrap around his throat, effectively pinning him back against the counter and squeezing hard enough to cut off his air supply. As soon as he makes contact, the disguise slips away and he's revealed. But before the man can do anything besides smile wider, Gabriel's knife is against his throat, digging in, not enough to cut him, but enough to let the threat linger in the air.

His eyes light up in pleasant surprise and he laughs, loosening his grip slightly but not letting go.

"Ooh, you're _fun_."

Gabriel glares at him and hisses in a low voice, "How did you find me? Who else knows I'm here? Did Indian Hill send you?"

The man rolls his eyes dramatically. "Jeez, it's just lil ol' me-"

He presses the knife down harder but the man's smile only splits wider as blood begins beading under the blade.

"I said, how did you find me?"

"Can't we talk about that later?" he whines, "we haven't even introduced ourselves yet."

"You seem to know me pretty well."

"Yeah, but you don't know _me_."

"Why should I? I don't need to know who you are, I just need to know. How. You. Found. Me." His knife digs deeper with every word.

"Wow, ouch," he huffs, his free hand lightly grazing over the one holding the knife to his throat, "I'm gonna introduce myself anyway and you can't stop me. I'm Jerome."

"I don't care," Gabriel replies, and Jerome grins at him.

Then Jerome is snatching his wrist and yanking the knife out of his hand and dropping it on the ground with a loud thud. Gabriel snarls and shoves him away from him, but Jerome's grip on his throat drags him forward, making him stumble. The two stumble back into the living area.

Cackling gleefully, Jerome dodges the oncoming punch and grabs the front Gabriel's shirt and throws him to the ground. On the way down, Gabriel's shirt rips and Jerome is caught off guard by the sight of the mangled scars littering his chest and stomach, his eyes widen in surprise but he appears more gleeful than disgusted or scared.

But before Jerome can do anything more, Gabriel is on his feet again and tackling him to the ground, climbing on top of him, pinning his arms above his head.

"Woah there!" Jerome laughs, not fighting the new position he's found himself in, "at least take me to dinner first-"

Gabriel slaps him hard across the face, not taking the moment to relish in the surprise that flashes through Jerome's eyes, before roughly covering his mouth and leaning in to hiss in his ear, "Stop. Talking."

Jerome's eyes are flashing in amusement and then, without warning, his teeth are sinking into the flesh of his hand. Gabriel remains expressionless, breathing through the faint sting and staring down at Jerome as the man draws his blood.

He only snatches his hand away when Jerome _licks_ the bloody wound, dragging his tongue across it in an obscene fashion. Jerome's laughter rings in Gabriel's ears as he glares at his bloodstained mouth.

"They really did a number on you, huh? Barely even reac-"

His voice is cut off by Gabriel wrapping a hand around his throat. Jerome doesn't fight back; merely remains still, laughing delightedly. The reaction only irritates Gabriel. He's going to have to kill Jerome now and then grab his shit and _run_. He can't stay here anymore, not now that some random Arkham Asylum inmate was able to track him down. Gabriel thinks he may even have to leave the City, because if Jerome was able to find him, then the Doctor won't be far behind.

Gabriel's pulled out of his thoughts by Jerome's strangled, distant voice.

"A-Amby, a little help here, please?"

Gabriel's eyes widen and he lets go, turning his head just in time to see the flash of a young man with blonde hair and brown eyes running over to them, something clutched in his paint-stained hands.

Before Gabriel can do anything, the man is timidly apologizing before covering his mouth with a piece of cloth covered with something with a strong odour, pulling Gabriel back against him, one arm wrapping around his chest and holding him still as he thrashes to get free, clawing at the man's hand, but the man is stronger than his small frame betrays.

In his mindless panic, he forgets to hold his breath and quickly breathes in the chemicals. His struggling lessens with each passing second as the chloroform begins taking effect. Everything is fading away, and the last thing he hears is Jerome laughing in his ear as he sits up, getting uncomfortably close and grabbing his waist told Gabriel up as he slumps over.

Then he's gone.


End file.
